1835 days ago...was a very different kind of wednesday than tomorrow is going to be.
there are many similarities on one hand; it was hot, i was learning to trust in the Lord in new ways, i laughed and cried, and austin was there to support me. but in some ways it couldn't be more different. that first wednesday was the day i met our sweet adeline mae. i remember it perfectly. i couldn't stop staring at her trying to figure out who this little person was and how it could be that i already loved her so much. when i looked at her sweet little chubby, smashed face i was simply overwhelmed. overwhelmed by the privilege the Lord had given me of being her mom. overwhelmed with emotions of gratitude and love. overwhelmed that the people at the hospital were going to let us take this little person home without knowing anything about us! what was i supposed to do with her?!
i wasn't one of those moms who looks at their newborn and thinks about them graduating from high school or getting married or having kids (although if you've ever sat by me at a wedding when the father is asked "who give this woman to be married to this man?" then you know i've shed a tear at every wedding since she was born. and if you happen to be one of the moms who have shown me the sweet 16 book you prepared for your daughter, then you know i don't make it too far until the tears flow). in some ways i try to think with a very eternal view. i try to catch myself when i am making too big a deal of something that won't matter in eternity. i ask the Lord to help me to think of our little kids' souls and not just their immediate needs, i don't always succeed but i'm working on it. in other ways i don't think past tomorrow. it's hard for me to imagine the next stage in my life. when i have a newborn i can't imagine sleeping through the night. when i am used to carrying a baby all the time it's hard to imagine the day the baby will crawl let alone walk. when i start potty training a toddler it's hard for me to imagine the day they will go to the restroom without any help. when i have a little one asking for the same book to be read for the 100th time it's hard for me to imagine the day they start to sound out words. so 1835 days ago it was hard for me imagine the day that my sweet baby adeline would put on a uniform and a backpack and go to kindergarten! i didn't know 5 years and 9 days ago what her little life would hold, i had no idea what a joy she would be or what a challenge motherhood would be and i would never have guessed that 1835 days would go by so quickly. yet, as much as i can't imagine letting little addie go to school i am so excited for her and for the adventures the Lord has for our family. it has been so good to chat with adeline about the nearness of God and is a great reminder to my silly heart of His complete sovereignty.
life is but a vapor, our God is eternally faithful.
